OC Emberton

How to make the world love you

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Isn’t it annoying that everyone in the world hasn’t fallen in love with you yet? Let’s fix that.

You judge yourself by your intentions

Inside your head, you know exactly what you’re trying to do, at all times. I’m trying to make my partner happy. I’m trying to build a better company for my boss. I’m trying to fix the US government.

Unfortunately, no-one else sees you like this. They only see you on the outside, with your clumsy, imperfect actions. The worst of which they assume you intended.

Have you ever had someone you love not believe a word you were saying? Have you ever tried to help a child, but had them hate you for it? They don’t know – or care – what you intend. No, they judge others differently, just like you do:

We judge others by how they make us feel about ourselves

We don’t judge people – directly at least – by their intentions, actions, looks, age or whatever. Those are surface details. We judge them by how they make us feel about ourselves.

That little statement packs a lot of subtlety, so let’s unravel:

The secret to adulation then, should you choose to pursue it, is to be clear in your intentions – but assume they will not be noticed. To pay uncommon attention to the intentions of others. But most of all: to make others feel better about themselves.

Now don’t blame me when the weight of the love letters breaks your mailbox.

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